Self Mutilation Disorder

I have a confession.  When I was 18, I had a very brief stage in life where I was "Crazy" and enjoyed it.   I was cutting myself and I remember getting a rush out of it.  However I was a little embarrassed to expose my upper arms where I typically did the cutting.  That whole thing only lasted about a couple of months before I realized that it was escalating to a point where I seriously thought I'd only get in trouble if it continued.  I mean I was starting to dig it because of the way it made me feel.

I bring this up because I've realized that the feelings that I have after getting out of super cold water are VERY similar.  However, there's no blood, no scars, no chance of infection.  The after effects are addictive and that's why I'm very eager to continue.  So when someone finds out you jump into ice cold water says, "your crazy".  Typically you chuckle with the person and deny that it's really crazy.  But in reality, I would have to say, yeah, you are.  It's borderline self mutilation disorder.  I'd rather jump into cold water as a way of expressing and releasing depression, frustrations and stresses, than becoming an alcoholic or beat on my wife.

Tonight's water temp at Bountiful Lake was between 43.5°(my thermometer) and 46°(Josh's thermometer).  Those who attended:

Josh Green
Jake Green
Matt Gerrish and his wife
Me

It's too dark at 5:30pm.  I swam when it was dark.  Thankfully I kept my eyes on the lights in the parking lot in order to get there.  The water underneath was totally black.  It was like swimming in oil it was so dark.  This week's swim was easier than last week even thought it was colder this week.  The reason - Josh gave me a cap.  I don't typically wear caps when I swim so I don't have any.  I'll have to start wearing it in cold water, cause it makes a huge difference even though its just a latex cap.  When I got out Pete was in his car and jumped out to shake my hand.  What a nice guy.  I had to hurry and get dressed and warmed up.

Total distance: 200 yards in @45°F water (about 2 1/2 minutes)