25 Jan 1994

500 - 5 x 100's super ez warmup (stretch and rotate breathing)

500 - 10 x 50's choice sprint on 1:30

50 - ez

400 - 4 x 100's sprint free on 2:00

500 - 20 x Australian 25's on 1:30

3200 total

Getting humbled in waterpolo

Today at 6:00 we begin practising and at 7:00 we begin playing the waterpolo championship. We have about 10 players now and will have plenty of substitutes.

I got about 10 CDs in the mail today. and am listening to them now. I'll finish this tonight and tell you how it went. cya

I got back from the waterpolo game and looks like the Lord saw fit to humble me. We got beat 15-2. I prayed that we would have fun, and I did. So I consider that prayer answered. I never prayed to win, and we didn't. I just wanted to have fun and that everyone else on the team would as well. That our team would not judge each other for mistakes but support each other and help each other. I grew closer to Bryan. He is so excited for swimming meet. So am I. He said all he wanted was to take 1st in 50 free. I hope he does. I no longer have enmity towards him as a competitor. We are working out together. If he wins, I'll be just as happy. Probably happier. I sense his desire and the love I feel for him is great and hope he wins. I won't let him win though. I am going to push him as if I didn't know him. Plus he'll have an idea of how fast to swim and improve by swimming with me. The other guys at water polo were good at polo, but we'll see exactly how fast they are. Actually when they started the game both times one guy beat Bryan to the ball so there is a fast guy other than Bryan at Ricks. However, Bryan really isn't the best sprinter either. But it is good to see there is other competition other than Bryan at school. What ticks me off is - if there are good swimmers at Ricks College why don't they get off their butts and form a swim team or club or something. I am going to organize one after the meet for next year.

Sarah got an A on the test. The Lord also answered my prayer in that regard. I am happy for her. She said it was hard and that she thought she got an F. But when she got the results she about passed out. The Lord loves me and I am happy. I am grateful at this moment.

I asked Sarah also if she would be in the ballroom competition with me since Sarah Madsen couldn't make it. She agreed and we have 3 weeks to learn it and compete on March 19th.

She asked me to go to the dance Friday, but I don't want to if she is going to play the field in front of me. If I go I want her, and no one else.

23 Feb 1994

800 - 250 swim, 300 kick, 250 swim

500 - 10 x 50's choice on 2:00 sprint!

1300 total

Kelly didn't come! It was getting crowded and I did a :26 on the last 50. I was so mad that I quit early. I had a 3200 yard workout planned. But I have class tonight. Tomorrow water polo starts. I need to start doing more distance in my workouts rather than this 1000 - 2000 stuff. I am sick of it! I need a loyal partner!!!!!!!!

I signed up for intramural swimming today. I was the first one on the list.

22 Feb 1994

300 - 100 of each stroke

300 - 100 kick of each stroke

600 - 12 x 50's choice 4 on 1:10, 4 on 1:00, 4 on :50

50 - ez

400 - 4 x 100's fast on 3:00

400 - 8 x 50's kick on 1:20

50 - sprint of your choice (under 30 for free or fly, under 40 for breast)

2100 total

Swam with Sarah and talked. She is getting friendlier and less swaty. I was a fly once, but then I grew, you know. She is actually going out of her way tomorrow to go dancing with me after her study group at 9:00. Also she called me tonight. I love life pretty good when this happens. But I hate the games. If this is a game, I want to know! Do you want to be on my team or not!

Anyhow I have the "Spittin Blood" water polo team ready for Thursday. I have enough people to play and we are going to kick butt!

My new roommate Bart is from Rigby and just got back from his mission in Japan. He is a big time tap dancer and is probably the best dancer at Ricks. He was on the team before his miss. His CD player is awesome but it scratches the crap out of my CD's. Maybe I am not using it right, so I'll stick with my own equipment, einta?

Punching a hole in the wall!

300 - 100 of fly, breast, and free

300 - 100 kick of the above strokes

1000 - 2 x 500's descend time w/ negative split

200 - ez

400 - 4 x 100's descend time last one under (1:00)

200 - warmdown

2400 total

Sarah totally dogged me yesterday (there must be something about that name "Sarah". They all seem to like to play games with my head.) cause she said she would come with me to church but instead she went running with her roommate Jill. Her ward was cancelled because of the holiday so she was supposed to come to my ward anyways. I saw her running and was enraged.

I was supposed to call her as soon as I got home, but I put it off for 4 hours. I wan't to be sure it was her running, so I called and found it was her. I got off the phone and went nuts. I punched a hole in the wall. I was so mad that I had to punch a hole. Why couldn't I have broken my arm? It would have felt alot better. Now I have to fix the hole, or pay for it. Crap!

My new roommate came and I was glad that I was calm by then. He came just as I was in the lounge having Elder's Quorum Prayer. When I got back, the peace of that prayer took main part of my anger away. We talked. He left to go home and I lifted for a bit, but I was so sore from Saturday's lifting with Sarah.

We are playing raquetball today at 5 and swimming, so it looks like I am getting 2 workouts today. I also have a few people on my Water Polo team.

19 Feb 1994

600 - 200 free, kick, pull

225 - 9 x 25's sprint fly, breast, free

200 - 4 x 50's over unders

175 - warmdown

200 - kick

1400 total

Just before this we ran stairs for 10 minutes until they made us stop for Basketball practice. Then we went and lifted for an hour and my arms were fatigued. We did 4 sets of pull ups. It was so fun to lift again with a girl and get her to perform by uplifting her up.

Then we swam this workout. After this she taught me how to dive off the high dive. This was the first time I ever dived off the high dive. I contribute that achievement to Sarah because I had no desire until she wanted me to. Then I did it, without hesitation. Only little girls are afraid of heights. I would have dived off something twice that high up for her.

She said her church was cancelled tomorrow so I committed her to join me for Sacrament Meeting. Then she is coming here to watch Man from Snowy River with me.

She has to work tonight so she can't go with me to the basketball game tonight. But I can see that I am not shot down. Just slowed down. I don't mind, as long as she don't leave me. I got the pictures back today from the Valentine's dance. She is so pretty. That brings back feelings that night and I wish to be with her more. But I'll be content with as much as she'll give me for now. I am going to write home since I haven't done so in such a long time.

18 Feb 1994

500 - reverse IM warmup

200 - 4 x 50's fast on 1:00

100 - 100 sprint under 1:00 (:57)

800 total

I went skiing today and my neck was really sore! I came mainly because Sarah was working and I wanted to ask her to the dance after she got off at 10:30. She didn't want to go so I took it as a shooting and went home to bed.

16 Feb 1994 - turning the swim log into a journal!

400 - 400 reverse IM

600 - 12 x 50's free 4 on 1:00, 4 on :50, 4 on :45

500 - 5 x 100's sprint under 1:00 on 3:00

100 - ez

1600 total

We had a short workout because there is a class at 6:30. We had another swimmer join us. Seth from Salt Lake (he went to Olympus). Also Kelly wants to join us. She is a swimmer from California. She wants to get a water polo team going for next week. She said she'll come in and swim with us at 5:00.

Bryan got his nipple pierced and he had tape over it so it doesn't move around on his titty and fall off. That has got to be the most stupid thing anyone could do. I mean an earring is pooftery enough. But a nipple? Might as well get a sex change along with it man.

Felt good cause I was killing Bryan and Seth in the 100s and averaging 1:00 on the 100s.

Sarah called last night and we talked for a good 30 minutes I guess. From the way she talks, she isn't pushing me away, just asking for a bit of time to get over jack sprat on the mission. We are still going out tomorrow. We are also going to the BB game on Saturday and then country dancing next Wednesday. I'll teach her ball room Saturday here. I still have this intense feeling for her, which is good. I love you Sarah Bowman.

Today in Pearl of Great Price Brother Wightman said how well the papers were done this time. He said he learned much from some of them and took mine out and showed it to the class (about 120) and said some of the points I expanded on the report. He even quoted something I said later on in his discussion. I felt rather honoured, not of man, because no one knows who "Gordy" is with which he was referring. I knew as I got my paper with a "Gordy, you done good! -- 25" on it. Here it is:

Brother Wightman Moses Chapter 6 Gordon Gridley

4 February, 1994

The first few verses in this chapter lead me into pondering the attitudes of Father and Son relationships. For instance in the earlier chapter, Lamech killed his Grandpa because of a secret he revealed. In Chapter six, Adam and Eve are rejoicing over another newborn with which they have another chance to have righteous seed.

Seth did have a positive attitude and honoured his Father and hearkened unto his teachings. He was blessed with a faithful testimony of God. He had a son and Seth taught him. Now a strong seed in the Lord is forming. They had "family prayers" as they "call[ed] upon the name of the Lord, and the Lord blessed them."

Reading and writing was very important as it was a means to record genealogy and words given from the Lord. It was a pure language with which meaning of words had no question as does our confused world of language does today with the many different interpretations.

Now in verse nine, I thought of its meaning. Adam was a literal Son of God. He was physically and spiritual born of God. I believe that just by being a Son of God does not make one a God through simple heredity. Adam was a Son of God, but not a God. He had to do certain things to chose to become a God. By taking of the fruit, it did two things.

One, by taking of the fruit, he lost his heredity of immortalship. But that could never change the fact that Adam is a Son of God.

Two, by taking of the fruit, he could now take those steps to become a God, through obedience and experience.

Through the righteous seed of Seth, Enoch was born. Enoch was in his own eyes, "just a lad", and hated of the people, and retarded in speech. With this humility it was at first difficult for him to be told of the Lord that he was chosen.

The Lord told this servant he wasn't to be relying on his own strength, but literally an instrument in the Lord's hands.

He was told to put clay in his eyes and then wash them. Enoch was now seeing, and this wonderful gift was given to prophesy of things to come.

Enoch knew that the fear of God was much more than the fear of man and so he taught the truth without worry of offending man. So there were many who were marvelling at this "madman" who came to testify against them. The people feared harming Enoch for he was obviously so full of truth.

One point of the teaching that I took notice of is that Enoch does not separate them from him in that they are all related to Adam and they all know him and where he came from. He simply reminds them. "The Lord which spake with me, the same is the God of heaven, and he is my God, and your God, and ye are my brethren, and why counsel ye yourselves, and deny the God of Heaven?"

He relates the conversation of the Lord teaching Adam about how to make solid steps in his path to Godliness. Adam was forgiven of his transgression of taking of the fruit, and thus it was important for all men to be baptized and take responsibility for their own sins. He is commanded to teach his children to have faith in God and repent of their own personal sins and then be baptized and receive the Holy Ghost. The to be faithful for the rest of their lives (I imagine being faithful for 900 years was quite a test).

Symbolism of baptism is taught. Just as one dies and returns to the dust, baptism represents the immersion or death of the sin conceived hearts. The coming out of the water represents the resurrection or the being born again of the water and the spirit. Water being the symbol and the spirit being the actual change.

Adam was the only person in scripture that I know of to be physically baptized by the Spirit in where he was carried away into the water and baptized by the Lord and then receiving great spiritual strength. Eve's baptism is not recorded but I imagine that she was a witness of this even and probably a participant.

Adam received the priesthood and is pronounced again, "Behold, thou are one in me, a son of God". The next part then pertains to everyone else and helps me understand that I am not really much different, "and thus may all become my sons."

15 Feb 1994 - no swimming - more girl drama!

Today I went to the temple with the ward. When we got there we sang a song and had a prayer and the second counselor told me I was baptizing all the girls. What! I was shocked. I thought you had to be a high priest or something to do that.

I was briefed on what to say and was given the clothes and thrown in the font. It was a rush. I felt such a responsibility doing that work. I found that as I said that prayer over and over that it was most important that I thought about what I was saying and not just saying it and putting the meaning in the back of my head. Especially the part, "Having been commissioned of Jesus Christ" and the end where I close "in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost." I didn't want to take their names in vain, so I said it as sacred as I could with as much thought as possible.

I did all but 2 of the girls and John (counselor in the Elder's Quorum) did the rest and the guys too since there were more girls than guys. I then changed and was a witness for the guys.

I felt the spirit so strongly. I prayed most of the way home that I would more responsibly take the Lord's name upon myself as I have covenanted many times in my life at partaking the sacrament and also in other covenants.

Upon returning home I found a yellow rose on my bed. I hoped it was Sarah upon first glance. I opened the envelope included. It read,

February 15, 1994

Dear Gordon,

I read your letter when I got home last night. It was a bit overwhelming for me. I have a fun time when I'm with you. Your sweet, thoughtful, and easy to talk to. There is something I want to tell you. I dated someone last semester, he left on a mission. We were quite serious. It's hard to forget about him. I'm not ready to start a relationship with anyone. Right now I need time to be alone. I hope this doesn't effect our friendship because I still want to do things with you. I just needed to be honest with you. I hope you understand my situation and want to continue building our friendship.

Love,

Sarah Bowman P.S. Smile

I will give you my interpretation of this:

She is confused at this time. Just like I was that night when I was thinking of Charmayne and wondering if I really should wait. I think she has major confusion and wants time to think about it. I can totally empathize with her. It isn't a fun situation to take one and throw another away just because of the one. Especially when you care about the other. I do have a positive about this though. Most of the time, when confronting girls that were nice, it never confused me. It only confused me at a certain point of time. It wasn't a person that confused me, but time and the thoughts of being alone for 1 and a half years.

She is confused either :

Because she doesn't want to be alone and when someone comes, she wants to continue with it, but hesitates because of the natural hanging on to the lost one.

Because of time, it was a while since she last saw him and the love is dwindling. I must thoroughly admit, the love dwindles after time. Time truly is an enemy to man. I just had been thinking about this long truth I have known for a while. It is an enemy to the one who has time to deal with. For me, time is my friend, for he will draw that intensity from Sarah's heart and because of the time I spend with her, it will replace those lost feelings with one's for me. But I am being rather cynical about these sacred feelings so I will end with this.

14 Feb 1994 - Valentines Day - professing my love for Sarah Bowman

I swam about 3,000 yards but didn't make a workout. One of the guards made it and I can't remember it. I swam with Sarah for 2,000 yards of it. I bought her a rose and gave it to her. I also got a Gorilla with a love note in it. It said the following:

February 14, 1994

Dearest Sarah,

It isn't just valentine's day that causes me to feel extra romantic or anything. I have felt like this ever since the dance last Saturday and getting to know you well. I had a wonderful time with you. You fill my heart with joy with the time spent with you. I don't want to seem pushy or overly forward, but I want to spend as much time with you as possible, cause I like the way I feel when I am with you.

I am not the smoothest and graceful guy like a cute little puppy dog. On the contrary I am as simple and ponderous as this here Gorilla. Full of love for a friend.

I hope you would come to me if you have a need for anything. I will be here for you, Sarah. I wish that when someone asks you, "Who is your best friend?", that one day you will be able to answer "Gordon Gridley".

I love you with all of my heart Sarah Bowman!

Happy Valentine's Day.

Gords

I put this letter in the Gorilla's hands and put it on her bed. So she got it when she got home after the workout. We went to the sisters for family home evening and played uno. The we talked about skiing and stuff for a while. Now I am home and want to play racquetball with Sarah tomorrow night. She is on the other line and will call back soon.